


Gotta put it in the water

by orphan_account



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Drama, Humor, Urination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-22 20:15:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19992442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: These colours don't run, but pee does.





	Gotta put it in the water

Steve Rogers wiggled slightly as a needle was injected into his arm. Fortunately, various bullies at home and at the army base treated him to worse pain than a prick. 

  
“That wasn’t so bad,” he noted. Dr Thompson, the British scientist behind the serum winced in sympathy. 

  
“Er, that was penicillin. You’ll wanna brace yourself,” she informed him.

A thrice as painful sensation surrounded him as he was injected with the serum in multiple muscle groups. 

Whether it was the serum filling his bloodstream or the fact a spiky metal nozzle was lodged in his buttcheeks, he didn’t know. But one way or another, his bladder had woken up for the day. Literally. He had actually forgotten to go to the bathroom before getting in the car with Agent Carter. 

As the nozzles were removed, he made an audible noise in an abrupt panic about the possibility of  _ leaking _ . Doctor Thompson winced once more in sympathy before raising an eyebrow one millimetre, theorising internally. 

She wondered if Rogers needed the loo. He had probably had a big enough breakfast of terrible DoD-standard soup and juice. Top-level pee fuel. But he didn’t wriggle after the noise, so she just moved on. 

The lights were dimmed as a bright light was turned on above Steve, and the capsule lid shut on top of him. In the privacy of the “pod”, he wriggled and allowed one small crotch squeeze. 

Dr Thompson approached him, tapping on the glass. 

  
“Do you hear me, Steven?” she asked. 

  
“Probably too late to go to the bathroom right?” he remarked,  _ somewhat _ jokingly.

Thompson turned her back to him and made a face of worry. That was a bit of an obstacle. She didn’t know exactly how badly he needed to go, and even taking his lack of wriggling,  _ at least _ outside of the capsule, into account, the serum’s potential diuretic abilities had yet to be analysed. And she didn’t want America’s first superhero to wet the pod in the presence of a Senator, not to mention journalists and one bloke from Hydra.  _ They really don’t disguise themselves well _ .. she thought with a sigh.

“Depends on how capable you are at peeing with an audience,” Thompson answered, also not entirely joking. 

“Well, I usually only use stalls if that means something,” Steve noted.

“Yes, it does. Can you hold it?” she asked him quietly, as multiple people were making weird faces at their current conversation.

“Not really..” Steve admitted. 

Dr Thompson then came up with a plan. Using two clear chemical explosives on the lab table, she made a small barely audible explosion of smoke. It covered the capsule. 

“Sorry, everyone! Looks like there’s a problem with the equipment, a part of it just had a surge, hence the steam. It might have Vita-Ray traces in it, so if you could please clear out of the room for about 5 minutes I’ll call you back in when it’s safe to breathe,” the doctor announced, to which Stark wished Steve “a good pee”, before leaving with everyone else. 

Thinking fast, Dr Thompson grabbed a sufficiently wide and tall beaker and opened the pod. 

  
“Alright, Steve, here’s the equivalent of a bottle. I chose the explosives that would produce maximum fog, should give you at least 2 minutes,” she explained, handing him the beaker and turning around. Despite the awkwardness, Steve knew time was of the essence, and she had just partially blown up the lab for him, so he just unzipped and peed in the beaker, imagining himself to be in the car with Peggy. 

Thompson smiled as she heard the loud sound of the future super-soldier peeing immensely. 

As soon as the Hydra agent pointed a gun at her, Doctor Thompson ducked and threw a beaker of scolding chemical at his head. She managed to kick the gun out of his hand and shoot him, before running off to find whatever technology connected him with his superiors. She found nothing but a car. 

Meanwhile, Captain America was running through the streets of Brooklyn in search of a  _ bathroom _ . Despite emptying before the Vita-Ray process, said Rays combined with parts of the serum that  _ wasn’t _ expelled beforehand, was now making him quite desperate, again. 

“Are you chasing a bad guy?” a young boy’s voice said. Steve looked down and saw a boy swimming in the river. 

  
“No..looking for a bathroom,” he admitted, panting. 

“Just go in the river. I am,” the boy suggested. Seeing it as good an idea as any, Cap ran a yard or two away from the boy and jumped in. 

He was frankly, a bit surprised at just how much the serum made him pee. Steve decided to go for a swim to pass the time it took. Said swim, was then later used as an excuse in front of the reporters.

******************

Once the reporters were gone, Dr Thompson approached him with the Vita-Ray detector, showing that it was making noise as it found high levels near his crotch. 

“How fascinating. There seems to be Vita-Ray traces near that wet spot on the front of your trousers,” Thompson noted, pretending to be surprised. Steve looked down and saw it. While the hot New York sun had dried him off, the part where the surplus serum had been expelled, there was a faint blue wet patch. Thompson smiled humorously at him, before writing something down. 

  
“I’m just noting how much of the Vita-radiation gets  _ assigned _ to the bladder for evacuation,” she explained. 

“I just hope it helps you figure out if the serum metabolism thing is permanent. Because I  _ really don’t _ fancy wetting myself on a date with Peggy,” Steve remarked walking away, blushing wildly in embarrassment. 

Thompson followed straight after, promising him a change of trousers back at the base. 

The End.


End file.
